Teaching Religion to Children

My comments about teaching religion to children could be misconstrued because I failed to make myself clear. There is no doubt in my mind that we should be teaching children about religion. We just shouldn't be teaching them a religion.

For example we should teach them that there are people who live on Pacific islands known as "cargo cults" who believe their savior is a man named John Frum. John Frum, the islanders tell us, was there during WW-2. He promised to return one day with cargo ships and transport airplanes loaded with cokes, Snickers bars, radios and TV's. John visits often. He commutes back and forth from Los Angeles through a tunnel under the Pacific Ocean, which has it's entrance inside a live volcano. When Christians ask them if they have ever considered the possibility that since John has been gone for nearly 70 years, that he might not return, they remind Christians that they have been waiting for nearly 2000 years and they haven't given up hope that Jesus would return.

We should teach them about the Hindu religion, whose adherents claim over 200 gods from Aakash to Yudhisthira. Rama,(number 158 if we list them alphabetically) is said to have built a 30 mile long land bridge between the southern tip of India and the island of Sri Lanka, using the labor of an army of devoted monkeys. Rama's princess had been captured and taken to the island and it was necessary to build the bridge so that he could rescue his princess. Several hundred million Hindus really believe this.

We should teach them about Judaism, whose adherents claim a prophet named Moses was given a stone tablet on which the Jewish god, Yahweh had inscribed his commandments with his own finger. (This would not be the last time god gave the Jews his finger) This stone tablet business was all top secret. In fact, god told Moses to tell his people that if anyone set foot on the mountain while Moses was up there, that they would be killed instantly. And that went for goats and donkeys too. Donkeys, (and for all we know, goats) could talk back then, so who is to say some donkey wouldn't spill the beans later.

Some caution is in order here. Since there is a good chance our youngsters will discover this in the bible themselves, it might be a good idea to go ahead and tell them now. You see, when Moses came off the mountain, he threw a hissy fit and flung the tablets on the ground, smashing them into smithereens. Most likely the reason for this reckless behaviour was that he had not eaten for for 40 days. Anyone who has not eaten for nearly six weeks has to be suffering from hypoglycemia. (I get cranky after three hours!) We can hardly doubt his blood sugar would have tested well below 70. The point is that this wanton display of the destruction of property, a gift from none other than God himself, made God cranky and he forced Moses to trudge right back up that mountain, find more stones suitable for tablets, and this time Moses had to chisel all those commandments out by himself. And don't forget to teach the kids there were 613 commandments, not ten. Christians who came along much later whittled the list down to ten. At any rate, the second effort must have taken Moses even longer since this time, god didn't offer up his finger. I don't recall the bible mentioning how long it took Moses the second time but you can bet he had learned his lesson and packed a good lunch.

We should teach them about Islam, the fastest growing religion, whose adherents are called Muslims, believe that their prophet, Mohammad, received messages in a cave from the angel Gabriel, which led to the religion of Islam. While the South Pacific islander's savior goes underground through a tunnel, Mohammad, the prophet, takes to the air and rides a white horse to heaven. And back. He had one stopover in Jerusalem but stayed on the same horse, Borak.

Sidenote: By the time we finish the course, some of our more intelligent students will begin to see a similar pattern has developed with all these religions. Why, they will ask, do all these religions, from Moses to Joseph Smith, come to us by revelation? Why couldn't god just give them to us first hand?

Just remind them this all took place long before we had the internet.