My heartfelt thanks go out to all the good Christians I have encountered through e-mails, letters to editors, radio, TV and newspaper interviews I have given, as well as gossip garnered from discussion groups, which resulted from me being a spokesman for the "You Can Be Good Without God" campaign sponsered by an Indiana University student group. Your persistent, yet patient, sharing of God’s inerrant word through His revealed wisdom, have turned out to be nothing less than a, well…..Godsend
I must say, your zeal in educating me concerning His holy word was contagious. It left me impatient for more. I eagerly immersed myself in the scriptures.
That said, I hope you won’t mind providing some more advice regarding certain elements of God's Laws because reading the Good Book has infected me with that pesky condition common to many who peruse His holy revealed word…..befuddlement.
Although many questions popped up while reading the inerrant KJV of His word, following are the most pressing. I have faith you can help me.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. I now find myself bereft of women friends.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who works in a Christian book store on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states she should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill her myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. I know someone who owns a ranch in Texas. He also plays golf. As anyone who has ever owned a ranch or played golf knows, both require a great deal of blaspheming, a clear violation of God's law. Also, he violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
Here’s the question. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who have sex with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
Separating for a moment, the shellfish abomination from the homosexual abomination, Leviticus 20:13: (KJV) states: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death."
Clearly, we have not only a license from God, but an obligation to Him, to hunt down and kill every homosexual person in the USA. According to studies from various sources, this would amount to about ten percent of the population or some 31 million people. (Those who claim to be “bi-curious” would presumably be spared; otherwise the number would be closer to 100 million.)
Before rejecting the notion out of hand, remember there are huge economic benefits. Think of all the trains, crematoria, and employees it took to kill 6 million Jews. The infrastructure needed to exterminate 31 million gays and lesbians would need its own stimulus package. And from an economic standpoint that is just the tip of the iceberg. Since we are obligated to kill them anyhow, we could force them into slave labor and work them nearly to death just as the godless Nazis did. This is a definite win/win for us. Wal-Mart could once again take pride in selling only American made products while at the same time bring China to its knees by putting a billion Chinese out of work.
My question is this.
How do we respond to those who protest that the very thought is repugnant? Should we remind them that God’s ways are not man’s ways? I know you have studied and prayed about all these things and thus command considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm looking forward to your helpful comments. Thank you again for reminding me that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
PS.
It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.
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Me too, me too! I want a Canadian. However, from my experience with maid service in Chicago, my real nation of choice from which to purchase my slave would be Poland. You have never had a cleaning woman until you have had a Polish cleaning woman! Since I would only have to pay for her once, I would willingly pay more. Germans seem pretty industrious too. I am good to go!
ReplyDeleteThe only problem I have, well two problems:
1. I have a gay child and I really resent anybody thinking they have the right to kill him and I must say, given folks' religious bent here, that thought is alive and well in the good ole US of A.
2. I love shell fish.
Hmmm...when I think about it, there are a lot more objections I have. See Paul's harangue against women in the new testament.
Thanks, Charlie, for my reminder of why I choose sanity.
CA gal
Charlie, I'm presently in Oklahoma and am probably only one of a dozen or so democrats, so I can't say much. I just know my signal is being recorded, so if my print is small it's because I'm whispering, but your questions are the kind that keep me in a lot of trouble with my fellow Christians. We all know Jesus was in the beginning and was God's only begotten son. My question last Sunday was "How could he be in the beginning if he was begotten and who begot him if it wasn’t Joseph or Mary?” Of course it was God, but he did it after the beginning. A retired medical doctor who is an elder smiled and agreed it couldn’t be consistent. People can be forced to think.
ReplyDeleteJim
Phillip Gulley in his, IF THE CHURCH WERE CHRISTIAN book after admitting
ReplyDeleteThe bible was nothing but a fable and still preaches in spite of the church’s leadership’s attempts to throw him out has this to say.
“Christians all know and love and want to hang in courtrooms haven't lived up to their billing. We're still coveting, fornicating, and stealing, and seeming to enjoy it more than ever. So I've suggested ten new standards around which we can orient our lives. They are as follows:
If the church were Christian, Jesus would be a model for living, not an object of worship.
If the church were Christian, affirming our potential would be more important than condemning our brokenness.
If the church were Christian, reconciliation would be valued over judgment.
If the church were Christian, gracious behavior would be more important than right belief.
If the church were Christian, inviting questions would be more important than supplying answers.
If the church were Christian, encouraging personal exploration would be more important than communal uniformity.
If the church were Christian, meeting needs would be more important than maintaining institutions.
If the church were Christian, peace would be more important than power.
If the church were Christian, it would care more about love and less about sex.
If the church were Christian, this life would be more important than the afterlife.
In the end, what I'm hoping for is a church a little less full of itself, and a little more full of love. It wouldn't take much, for love and grace and kindness have a way of multiplying. We can start with just a few bones of it, and watch it build into something so vast it boggles the mind -- a divine extrapolation, if you will.”
Jim