Recently a church erected a sign on a billboard in Seattle that had the following displayed
Jesus is_________________________________: (fill in the blank)
A website provided the vehicle for filling in the blank.
Its probably safe to say the church was not expecting the online answers that came pouring in.
Here is a sampling. In the comments section of my blog, take a moment to pick your favorite three. Forward my blog address charliesitzesblogspot.com along to your friends and ask them to join in this game of:
Jesus is______________________________.
1. Not the only one with the answer. Try Google.
2. The son of the guy who made you bad just so you can beg him for forgiveness.
3. Santa for adults.
4. Cool with slavery.
5. Dead. Get over it.
6. Never coming back. Go about your business.
7. Someone who agrees with you no matter how many times you change your mind.
8. With you always; like a stalker.
9.The shepherd which only sheep are in need of.
10. Wondering what your necklace would look like if he were executed in the electric chair.
11. Thinking it would have been much easier and less painful if his daddy were capable of just forgiving people.
12. Is a control mechanism.
13. Expecting you to follow his example and live in poverty.
14. Sending all the intelligent people to hell and the less intelligent to heaven.
15. For all those people too stupid or too lazy to see there is meaning all around them.
16. Available in convenient wafer form.
17. Wondering how he forgot to mention germs during the sermon on the mount.
18. Not the reason for the season. Axillary tilt is.
19. How losers cope with the harshness of reality.
20. Going to send me to hell for using my brain.
21. Calling from inside the house.
22. What cost me 20 good years of my life.
23. Answering the same percentage of prayers that would have been answered by chance.
24. The reason for papal haberdashery.
25. Is the worm on the hook of the fishers of men.
26. Is a blank check for anyone with a white collar.
27. Someone who should have laughed at least once.
28. Someone who never once praised another for their intelligence.
29. Someone who doesn’t give a damn who wins a football game.
30. Most certainly not a “Christian” but a first century Jew.
31. Very late. See Matt: 10:23..16:28.. 24:34
And finally…….. Drum Roll Please…………….
32. Like Michael Jackson: 2000 years ago he was black and now he’s white as a sheet.
Any additional comments most welcome.
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Jesus is__definitely not who fundamentalist say he is or was. He was never called Jesus since that name is one translated into English from a Greek word and he was a Jew. He probably was called Yeshua ben something or another (who was his father anyway?) Christ is not a last name. It is another Greek word for the Hebrew messiah. He never went to church, wore a necktie or asked anyone to drink his blood (as a law abiding Jew it was forbidden).
ReplyDeleteThis is likely what he actually was (assuming he is not a composite of other men). We have no way of knowing for sure since our Biblical accounts don't always agree. SO,PERHAPS THE BLANK ITSELF IS AS ACCURATE AS ANYTHING WE SAY. ___________________________
Hey Charlie, my name is Sandra. I read a lot of blogs on religion and prayer and I've i feel like I've ended up here once before. I ran across this prayer exchange website and I haven't had the chance to ask my Church what their stance is on it.
ReplyDeleteI think that there are some benefits to a site like this but some others might find it questionable.
The website is http://www.prayermarket.com/.
I am curious what you (or other Christians) think about it and know that I and maybe your readers would be interested in hearing your opinion.
I'll check back here in the next day or two, thanks & God bless
Sandra Johnson
Hi Sandra
ReplyDeleteI think you are pulling my leg. It has been shown in numerous studies that prayers are never answered. If they were we could grow new limbs just like the salamander couldn't we?
If you want to really look into the matter, google "galveston huricane 1900" where you will find that 10 nuns and 90 of 93 innocent children drowned after spending hours praying that god would save them. The three surviors spilled the beans on what they thought was their god. The pope prays for peace every year. One would think if god answered prayers he might at least listen to the leader of a church with well over a billion adherents. Apparently not.
I prayed for a bicyle when I was a youngster. I prayed and prayed and prayed. No bicycle. So I figured out a way around my dilemna. I stole the bicycle and prayed for forgiveness. But I could never figure out if my sin was forgiven.
Charlie! What a fun piece! I was good at praying for forgiveness when I was younger! I think jesus is extremely unhappy with his followers. (They are most lucky if he doesn't exist since they defy everything he stood for!)
ReplyDeleteCA gal