Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Santa Claus is Coming to Town


With the election behind us and Christmas just around the corner, my thoughts have turned to children. As we all know, children will believe anything adults tell them.  There are reasons for this of course and it no doubt has to do with how we evolved. 

Imagine, for example, what would have happened to the children of our ancestors who refused to listen to their parents or other adults, when cautioned  not to swim in a particular river, or told not to eat a particular red berry, even though it looked delicious.   Children who refused to believe what they were told would have quickly been removed from the gene pool because they would have been eaten by crocodiles or died of food poisoning.  Soon we would have produced only children that believed everything adults told them and….guess what? That is exactly what we have today.

Surprisingly, as we have recently learned, this doesn't only apply to teenagers and pre-teens.

A National Institutes of Health study has found that the part of the brain that includes critical thinking skills is not fully developed until the age of 25. (See “Maturation of the Prefrontal Cortex” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

The fact that kids will believe anything adults tell them places a great burden on us because once we implant ideas in their heads before they have learned critical thinking skills they are nearly impossible to dislodge.  Therefore we owe it to our kids to be very careful what we tell them. We want to be sure we tell them the truth and if we don’t know the truth, its o.k. to tell them we don’t have the answer.

Let me give a few examples.

Hindus, which number well over a billion, believe their god Ram built a 30 mile long land bridge between the southern tip of India and the island of Sri Lanka, using an army of devoted monkeys for labor. The reason Ram felt compelled to build the bridge was so that he could rescue his Princess from an evil king. (By the way, the so-called bridge is under water now because of a sea level rise.) If you have the least bit of curiosity as to what it really is, Google the word “tombolo.”  

No, no, you must be thinking. No one in their right mind could seriously believe a story like that. Well, you would be wrong. Because this is what they were taught as children, they really do believe that. In fact, they believe it so strongly that when India decided to dredge a shipping canal between the countries so that ships could avoid sailing all the way around Sri Lanka, shaving 26 hours off their time, Hindu organizations swung into action and petitioned India's Supreme Court to put a stop to it because it should be considered a "religious monument".  In fact, newspapers reported that Hindus rioted all over India, when the news came out about the dredging proposal. Hindus blocked road traffic and even rail movements as far as a thousand miles away in northern India. Newspapers reported at least two people were killed in the riots.

As it is, ships sailing between India's west and east coasts have to go around Sri Lanka. With tanker rates averaging $18,000.00 per day, each time a ship has to sail all the way around Sri Lanka it costs consumers on average an extra $20,000.00. Think of all the fuel wasted.


And if you think that’s weird, I challenge you to Google ” Hindu shrine of Amarnath.”  Caution: May not be suitable for children (unless you are a Hindu). We are talking a giant frozen icicle here, roughly in the shape of a penis and Hindus go absolutely gaga over the thing. They spend a small fortune and risk their lives to visit an  ice stalagmite in roughly in the shape of a penis. The cave is located high up in the mountains and is very difficult and expensive to get to.

Okay enough of that. How about another example?

Islam, which claims to have 1.7 billion adherents,  make up 24% of the world population (compared to 33% Christian) They teach their children that Jesus is not their savior, that he was only a prophet and that their very own prophet, Muhammad,  rode a white winged horse to heaven and back. Their children believe every word of it. What do you think? Do you suppose 1.7 billion could be wrong? Do you think they should teach their children that Jesus is not their savior?

Catholicism: Exorcism is the practice of evicting demons or other evil spiritual entities from a person or place which they are believed to have taken control of. Catholics even have an “exorcism school” where they teach priests to perform an exorcism ceremony. They carry a crucifix while performing the ritual.  The comedian Richard Pryor joked that the reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.  I would imagine that Richard might have had the same idea about the notion that the little communion wafer is literally.... not figuratively.... literally, the body of a long dead religious leader. Catholics have coined a long name for it. Transubstantiation, which means that the bread and wine of Communion become, in substance the body and blood of Jesus Christ. Catholic adults teach Catholic children this. There are 1.2 billion Catholics. Most of the kids believe it.

Mormons teach their children that their founding prophet, Joseph Smith, was guided to the spot where some golden plates were buried by an angel named Moroni.  Conveniently buried with the plates were some magic reading stones. You see the plates were inscribed with an ancient lost language and the reading stones allowed Smith to translate the lost language into the book of Mormon.  Mormonism, as it turns out is the only religion on earth that is so new that it can demonstrably be proven wrong. 

Turns out Joseph Smith was a smooth talking con man who was hauled into court on more than one occasion; once for making false claims about his abilities to find treasure with a divining rod. He had 33 wives. This information is readily available on the internet for those who have even a hint of curiosity about the Mormon religion. What would you think if someone taught your children these fairy tales?

The examples could go on and on but I won’t burden you with others. Instead, I have a proposition.

What if, in the spirit of understanding, we all came together and, from this moment on, agreed not to teach our children anything at all about our religion until they had reached the age of 25. No talk about  devoted monkeys, flying white horses, demons, dead men popping up out of their graves, pregnant virgins, talking snakes and donkeys….all of it….until our kids reach the age when their frontal cortexes are fully developed.  

If you really, really have the faith you claim to have (and I’m talking to those of all faiths) then after 25 years, you should know that your god will reveal which religion is the one true religion.  Why would he leave us in the dark? After all, aren't we his crowning achievement?  Once and for all we would know the truth and it would no longer be necessary to gather several times a week to “study” our scriptures, whether it be the bible, the Book of Mormon, the Koran or all those gods in India.  And don’t worry about your kids going to hell. If we don’t tell them about Jesus or Smith or Moses or Muhammad, how can a loving God send them to an eternal of agony if they have never heard of him?

I’m inviting everyone to show me how my argument is delinquent in some way. 

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