"If I Had a Hammer " Peter, Paul and Mary

I have a great idea but first you gotta read this which I got from a website called "The Straight Dope" Fighting Ignorance Since 1973

From the moment the Pope dies, the Secretary of State, I believe, becomes the Camerlengo. He, with the College of Cardinals will run the church until the next Pope is elected.

The Camerlengo supervises all aspects of what goes on from the death of the pope to the election of the next pope. He is involved in the funeral arrangements to the preparing for the conclave and all that goes into that.

But his first duty is to perform a ritual at the deathbed of the Pope. A ritual that goes back to the Middle Ages is to take a silver hammer and lightly tap on the pope's head. Then in a strong voice call out to the Pope in his baptism name. For example, for Pope Paul VI, the Camerlengo would tap the pope on the head and then say, "Giovannit Daltista Enrico Antonio Marie, are you dead?

This is repeated two more times.  Upon the third tap and call to the pope, if the pope does not answer, it is proclaimed, "Pope N. is truly dead!"

O.K.? Got that ?

Now here’s my great idea. The price of silver on the spot market at the close on Friday was $33.40 per ounce.  Just for argument, let’s say the hammer used to determine the health of the pope weighs 32 troy ounces or a little over two pounds. That means the hammer would be worth 1068.80.

Now.

I have in my shop a ball peen hammer which I purchased at a garage sale for 3 bucks.

What if I exchanged my three dollar hammer for the Vatican’s $1068.80 hammer and took the difference ($1065.80) and spent the money buying warm clothes and shoes for homeless children?  I mean, when you think about it, what’s the difference between tapping the dead pope on the head with a silver hammer and a ball peen hammer.

The difference of course is a bunch of kids whose parents are out of a job would get new shoes for Christmas.